Why You Need To Fail
When I first started ReparTay, it was geared more towards the show being a party. I wanted it to be a variety of celebrations. How you got into grad school, passed a hard test, got pregnant, engaged, etc. But the more I thought about it, the less it made sense. Why in the hell do we shy away from our failures? Who told us that failure is a bad thing?
I think it's important to fail for several reasons. Not for the cliche ones though. "Anything that comes easy isn't worth it." No, nothing like that. It's how we respond to our failures that matter. Lord knows how many years I started, failed and quit this show. Three. Three years, but nevertheless, I needed to fail. Failing taught me some valuable life lessons we can all takes notes on:
1. Failure to plan, is a plan to fail. I didn't have plan. I was just free-balling it. I was just waiting on my "God's Plan" moment, where someone random walked up to me and gave me some mula. You know how they say, "shoot for the moon and you'll land on the stars." That was me. Just shooting the shit lol. It is bad practice to have a goal with no plan. Have you given any thought to how you plan to accomplish your goal?
Failure to plan is a plan to fail. Without a plan, how do you even know where to start? What are you measuring the success of your progress against? How do you know you're successful at something if you have nothing to measure your success against? All important things to think about when you start building out your plans. By no means am I urging you to have a fool-proof business plan, but you need something, typed or written, that you can see to see it though. Try using SMART goals. Make a plan that is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely. 2. When the plan fails, change the plan and not your goal.
If you're anything like me, it took me forever to learn delayed gratification. If my first plan didn't work, I was freaking over it. No plan B. In the words of Joanne the Scammer "that's over, it's cancelled." Again, another bad practice. Why is it that we easily give up our dreams and passions because our initial plan didn't work? It's because of the 4 letter "F" word. That's right, fear.
See, we publicize our success stories, but we cover up the road it took to get there. We are a braggadocios group of people. We like to flex for the gram (nothing's wrong with it Cardilations 3:14). Oh but fear, will choke you like a biscuit from Popeyes with no drink. Fear has a way of humbling the shit out of you. It's hard to stunt when you're afraid.The fear paralyzes you and that's how a lot of us tend to give up on our dreams. A lot of us don't know how to get out of that stagnant portion of achieving our dreams. it's much easier than you we make it seem. You just need to change your stinking thinking.
We need to reshape our thoughts and feelings about failure to be positive instead of negative. For example, I choose to look at failure as rain. It's ugly, hard, annoying, messy, it makes things muddy, etc. However, without this ugly, messy rain, we would be in a drought. The lack of rain does not bring the opportunity for growth. You can't expect the rainbow without any rain. So let's begin to train our minds to think of failure as a positive. It's not a weakness, but an area of opportunity. It's not a stopping place, just a minor set back. When the plan fails, you don't change your goal. You change your plan. Switch it up! Do something different. Start from scratch. Rework your plan. See it through.
3. If you failed, that means you tried.
This is the most important piece that I want people to understand. How do you know you're bad at something if you haven't tried? How do you know that you're good at something if you don't try? The only true failure, is in not trying at all. Sometimes, we have a tendency to set limitations on ourselves and those limits often times keep us from trying. Imagine all of the things we wouldn't have if people didn't try. If slaves didn't try to be free. If black people didn't try to earn civil rights (let us never forget that civil does not equal equal; but another day). If Jesus didn't try to get up on the cross for our sins. You have to try. Aaliyah said it best, "If at first you don't succeed (if you fail), dust yourself off and try again." Meaning, "hey I may have not gotten it just right, but at least I tried!"