You know what I hate? When I tell someone I'm going through something and they say "oh everyone has to go through things. That's just life". No, it ain't. Yes, I said ain't.
Life can be a big mess sometimes. Work is a mess because you're overworked and underpaid. You have more bills than money. Your boo thang is tap dancing on your last nerve and it just seems like nothing is going your way. But, good news! I have the recipe for a resolution. The Recipe
Bey's grandma said "I was served lemons, but I made lemonade".
To your surprise (and mine), there is peace in chaos. You just have to know how to identify it. Bey's grandma said "I was served lemons, but I made lemonade" - a negro spiritual. My mom, however, always told me how you see the problem is the problem, which brings me to my first point: You are positioned in your chaos for a purpose. Positioned for a Purpose You know what I hate? When I tell someone I'm going through something and they say "oh everyone has to go through things. That's just life". No, it ain't. Yes, I said ain't. Not everyone has your purpose, so while the perspective may seem similar, the purpose is more than likely different. You may be in the midst of your situation for two reasons: to learn a lesson or to help someone else learn theirs. Example, get out your Bibles cuz it's about to get biblical. Everyone knows about Jonah and the whale. God told him to go to Nineveh to tell the people to get it together. Jonah said, "Nah", and skurt skurt in the opposite direction. He hopped on a boat, and then a bad storm came as well. (Watch how this next part happens fam, it gets good). The people on the boat knew the storm was Jonah's fault, so they tossed my mans overboard. They were positioned in the storm to help someone else learn their lesson. Sometimes, the storm isn't all about you. After he was thrown from the boat, Jonah was swallowed by a whale, and he spent three days in its belly praying and worshipping. After three days, the whale spat Jonah up on the shore of...Nineveh! He tried to escape his purpose by getting on the boat. He probably thought it was a wrap and the lowest he's ever been when he got swallowed up by the whale but he was actually in that position to fulfill his purpose. I said all of that to say, how you see the problem determines whether you get the lesson or get to repeat it! Expectations Matching Your Effort
What good is a wish if you don't work for it?
When I was a kid, I used to wish every night on every star that I would wake up in a bed of one million dollars. Dawg. Do you know how pissed I was to wake up with not even a penny in my bed?? I expected to be a whole millionaire without doing a single thing. Just wishing. What good is a wish if you don't work for it? How do we expect things to happen, if we don't move on it? How do we expect to free ourselves from chaos if we're not actually trying to get out of it? Let's use our dreams as an example. You hate your day job. Management is garbage and don't even get me started on the salary. You want to follow your heart/dreams and become a writer, however, in your spare time, all you do is complain about your job to whoever will listen and you haven't written a thing in months. It's cliche, but dreams really don't work unless you do. Another quote from my mom is "In order to be great, you have to be good first. In order to be good, you have to be bad first. In order to be bad, you have to start". In most cases, we are so afraid to act on our dreams because we're afraid it's going to flop (I'm talking to myself too), but you have to start somewhere. You have to put some effort behind those expectations to make them your reality. One day or day one: you decide. Change = Creation The big "c" word. It's like the boogie man for a lot of people, but why are people so afraid of change? Well, it's because of their perspective. For most of us, change is scary because what's ahead is unknown. How can we prepare for something if we don't know what it is? First of all, the only thing constant is change so you might as well get used to it and find a positive way to cope with it. Have you ever thought about what on the opposite end of that fear? Don't worry, I'll tell you. It's creation. There creation in change. Let's break that down. You and bae have just not been seeing eye to eye. Y'all are arguing about petty things and it just seems like for the life of you, you cannot communicate at all. Then, you all decide to sit down and hash things out. You begin to discuss each other's love language and communication styles in an effort to understand each other a little better. After a healthy discussion, not an argument, you all decide to change how you communicate with each other. You plan to be more patient with the other and listen actively instead of defensively. That change you all just made, created a more positive environment and a safe place to communicate in and helps your relationship flourish and progress. So many people thing that if you change, you've lost. Honey, that's not an L. It's called growth.
Breathe Now you've changed your perspective on your position, matched your efforts to your expectations, learned to embrace change, the last thing you need to do is breathe. We get so caught up in our circumstances and forget to breathe. My therapist taught me about these breathing exercises call 4-7-8 breathing. You inhale for 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds and exhale for 8. This allows your body to focus on catching your breathe instead of your chaos. It's like a tranquilizer for the body. A natural one. Happiness and peace is a choice. I hope that today you choose happiness and peace over whatever may be happening around you. Comment below if this article helped you relax or post some of your tips and techniques that help you find peace!